Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Strike Sex

You'd think I'd be the first to know about strike sex, but apparently I'm the last because this guy I know was like, "Have you been offered strike sex"? And I'm like, what's that? Turns out it's this big thing because everyone here is working from home and the craigslist posts have been all about "Meet me at my place for Strike Sex". Awesome. Unfortunately I can't take drink orders from home so I am stuck in the bar, but that place is a vortex of sex anyway so if you think about it I'm always having strike sex, well, "They're drunk and I'm intrigued" sex.

Strike sex. Do you need a strike as an excuse to have sex? It's like The Blackout sex or Oh No, Terror Alert Has Been Raised Let's Have Sex sex. I guess when people are feeling vulnerable or afraid to be alone they get horny. That's why the holidays are so hot.

Bonnie hasn't called me. I think it's because she's pregnant and has to have sonograms all the time. She's always getting a sonogram. I think Greg should pull a Tom Cruise and buy her a sonogram machine so she can just do them from home and maybe she'll call me once in a while. I don't want her to call me when she's doing one though, it's kind of like talking on the phone while you're going to the bathroom, although I always do that but I just don't tell the other person.

I guess Jean got a temp job but couldn't go because of the strike, so she comes to my bar all the time. I wish she could get paid to drink. Maybe I'll find her some strike sex.

Oh, I have to make a public apology to Sophie for not returning her calls. She is looking over my shoulder as I type this so this is verbatum from Sophie:

Sophie- I am sorry I didn't call you back the other night. I didn't know you were in the FUCKING hospital getting FUCKING stitches (bold lettering not my idea), and she needed a FUCKING friend to pick her up. I, Sara, am a bad friend. I should have called her back, that is why I have a cellphone. Sophie, I will never do that again.

Okay, she's gone. Whatever, how was I supposed to know she was in the hospital?

Later, Bloggie.

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