BFF
I never thought I'd open a blog with "So and so once said..." but here it goes. Oscar Wilde once said, "True friends stab you in the front". It's also said that his dying words were "Either those curtains go or I do". What a goddamn genius. But in that "I know I'm a genius" kind of way and it's a little annoying. But he's got a point about the friend thing.
I had this weird blast from the past this holiday season. One of my best friends from Buffalo came down to the city this week. When I was a kid I was really shy and didn't have a lot of friends but there was this one girl, Jenna, I was close with. Even after I moved to Virginia and became best friends with Bonnie, we kept in touch but that's when the hormones and the drug experimentations kick in, you know, the usual, and we kind of drifted apart. And it's hard to keep in touch with someone when you're that age and there's boys and family shit and you find that you've been "experimenting" for so long you may as well have written a new Chemistry theorem. So we haven't talked in years. But she heard I was in NY and came down with her husband and yes... child... and looked me up.
We went out for coffee and walked through the park and just talked and you know, the darndest thing is that it was as if nothing had changed. There were no awkward pauses or silences, it was as if we had regressed back to those giddy, nervous, excited 10 year olds both terrified and electrified with the idea of growing up. In fact the only awkward moment was when she asked me why I wasn't at my mother's funeral (of course she went, it seems everyone else did). I had to tell her why- "Oh, I was cracked up on some guys couch somewhere and my family had no way of contacting me. By the way, your baby is beautiful". Yeah, there it was. But instead of being snapped back into my present reality, I heard myself saying it as if I was 10 again, looking into my future and seeing the outcome. And I was sad, a bit, but then I couldn't help but think of how far I'd come, what had happened, and what I had done in my life (albeit small). And I had that stupid George Bailey moment where you realize how lucky and loved you are, because instead of judging me Jenna just gave me a big hug and said, "Well, I'm sorry about your mom. I'm happy to see you're okay." I didn't cry. Well, when I got home I did, but in a pillow so Sophie couldn't hear me because that bitch is so hypersensitive she always has to "cry along".
I got to thinking about my friends. My real friends, not just Jenna but the ones who know you best and remind you where you come from. And they suck because sometimes you don't want to remember how awkward or obnoxious or slutty you were at whatever age. But they're always there. Goddamnit. I hope Sophie doesn't read this because she'll make a big deal out of it. But I hope Bonnie does. She really has been there for me and I hope she knows that. Jean too- even though she's a "new friend" I kind of feel like I know her pretty well. But there's still a window where she might totally piss me off and I'll only tolerate her at social gatherings. But I don't think so. I hope all those bitches keep stabbing me in the front.
I had this weird blast from the past this holiday season. One of my best friends from Buffalo came down to the city this week. When I was a kid I was really shy and didn't have a lot of friends but there was this one girl, Jenna, I was close with. Even after I moved to Virginia and became best friends with Bonnie, we kept in touch but that's when the hormones and the drug experimentations kick in, you know, the usual, and we kind of drifted apart. And it's hard to keep in touch with someone when you're that age and there's boys and family shit and you find that you've been "experimenting" for so long you may as well have written a new Chemistry theorem. So we haven't talked in years. But she heard I was in NY and came down with her husband and yes... child... and looked me up.
We went out for coffee and walked through the park and just talked and you know, the darndest thing is that it was as if nothing had changed. There were no awkward pauses or silences, it was as if we had regressed back to those giddy, nervous, excited 10 year olds both terrified and electrified with the idea of growing up. In fact the only awkward moment was when she asked me why I wasn't at my mother's funeral (of course she went, it seems everyone else did). I had to tell her why- "Oh, I was cracked up on some guys couch somewhere and my family had no way of contacting me. By the way, your baby is beautiful". Yeah, there it was. But instead of being snapped back into my present reality, I heard myself saying it as if I was 10 again, looking into my future and seeing the outcome. And I was sad, a bit, but then I couldn't help but think of how far I'd come, what had happened, and what I had done in my life (albeit small). And I had that stupid George Bailey moment where you realize how lucky and loved you are, because instead of judging me Jenna just gave me a big hug and said, "Well, I'm sorry about your mom. I'm happy to see you're okay." I didn't cry. Well, when I got home I did, but in a pillow so Sophie couldn't hear me because that bitch is so hypersensitive she always has to "cry along".
I got to thinking about my friends. My real friends, not just Jenna but the ones who know you best and remind you where you come from. And they suck because sometimes you don't want to remember how awkward or obnoxious or slutty you were at whatever age. But they're always there. Goddamnit. I hope Sophie doesn't read this because she'll make a big deal out of it. But I hope Bonnie does. She really has been there for me and I hope she knows that. Jean too- even though she's a "new friend" I kind of feel like I know her pretty well. But there's still a window where she might totally piss me off and I'll only tolerate her at social gatherings. But I don't think so. I hope all those bitches keep stabbing me in the front.
posted by Tempy at 3:08 AM
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