Lies and Lying Liemakers

Hey, I have an idea. Quit lying to me. You know, there's a difference between withholding the truth and straight up in my face lie. Like, I dunno, take Sophie for example. She wouldn't tell me where she was going all those nights. Not a lie. She finally reveals she's sleeping with James. But "Oh, I'm not interested in having anything happen. We're just friends." Lie lie lie lie lie. You know, don't introduce a topic and then lie about it. It's like this classic example. Let's say you broke up with someone and you have that awkward sit down months later.

Boy: So, are you seeing anyone?
Girl: No.

Not a lie. Even if she is (which she probably is) it's one of those things the other person doesn't need to know. Now, let's change things around.

Boy: So, how's things?
Girl: Great. Work's good, and I just got a new account. Oh, I went over to my friend Tony's house the other night and he had the funniest book.
Boy: Tony? Is that the guy you're seeing?
Girl: No, we're just friends. I would never sleep with Tony.

Ding ding ding ding ding. See, that's and example of introducing the lie and then lying about it. I hate that one because it's the most obvious. How about this one:

Sara: Hey Sophie, that sweater of yours is missing.
Sophie: How do you know?
Sara: Oh... I was doing laundry and I noticed it.
Sophie: Sara!
Sara: What?
Sophie: You borrowed it and probably got stains on it and now you're trying to cover your tracks!
Sara: That's not true!

Trifecta lie. Oh, in that case it was me but that's just because I didn't want to hurt her with the truth and I thought that by bringing it up first it would make it easier. Oh, wait. Now I understand why people lie. But it still hurts my feelings when you lie to me.

Oh and Sophie, if you're reading this, I did ruin your sweater but I'll buy you a new one.

Wow, that actually felt pretty good.