Sunday, January 15, 2006

Shaken and Stirred

I am going to kill this new bartender they hired at my bar. First, because they hired a new bartender and it's become painfully clear that I will never be promoted from cocktail waitress, I don't know why, and second because she is a mixture between Kathie Lee Gifford and Dakota Fanning. I don't know much about Dakota Fanning other than she's an annoying child actress.

Her name is "Staycey" and she's an "Aspiring Actress" who thinks she is everybody's best friend. Yes, I know what I'm doing, thank you very much, and I'm not here to make friends. I was placing an order with her, 'Hey SWEETIE! What can I do you for? Ha ha ha!!!" Oh, did I mention her laugh is like crisp bubbly champagne dancing down a cliff of needle sharp razors? Or at least that's how my spine feels when she laughs loudly which is invariably and at nothing in particular. So I ordered a Stoli and soda, Ketel and soda and a Corona. She makes the drinks in record time (showoff) and goes, "Okay, so you can remember which is which, the drink with two straws is the Stoli- 'straw' plural for S- Stoli. The drink with one straw is the Ketel, because it's Ketel ONE, hahaha... and this is the Corona because it says Corona. HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Ow, my spine. What a patronizing bitch; I don't need to know which is which, like the customers can tell anyway. I gave the wrong ones to the customers on purpose.

I don't know what it is about bartenders that think they are somehow better than cocktail waitresses. It's the power dynamic. I have to ask them for drinks and they just stand behind their big oak throne and wait for me. And then I have to tip them out at the end of the night when I see drunk regulars throwing $20's at them? All I get are Sacajawea coins and linty tic tacs from people's pockets as tips. Oh, and phone #'s. This one guy last week paid for his friend's round, tipped me only a dollar but slipped his phone number in with it. I cleared my throat real loud until his friends were listening then said, "I'm sorry. Is this the number I call to get the rest of my tip?" His friends thought it was hilarious and I've never seen a man shrink so low into his chair. I've got to get a new job. This college bar depresses me.

Sophie and I have actually been getting along. It's only because we see each other in small doses. I was even able to get her on the guest list of this band she wanted to see because I had dated one of the guys who works at the music venue. She was really impressed for the first time ever, like, "Wow, Sara actually knows important people". Well, biblically.

Bonnie's moodswings are giving me motion sickness. I spoke to her on the phone yesterday and she was totally pleasant, and then today she called screaming because I didn't tell her I had a nice phone conversation with Greg. So what, I can talk to her husband. And besides, it didn't cross my mind to mention it. I can't wait 'till she has this baby.

Oh and Jean? Still stuck in LA. I love it.

Bye, Bloggie

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