Every Day is Arbor Day when you are a Dog
Okay, so I've been dog sitting this beagle mix for the weekend, and I know how Jean feels. But the difference between our situations is that this dog is perfectly house trained, which means he has to go on walks. Many walks. And on these walks he is not happy to pee on one tree, no, rather he has got to pee on many trees. Like, every third tree is his property and he has to pee on it again to let the other dogs know. He gets this shit-eating-grin sense of satisfaction after every stop. And then it's on to the next tree. I'm like, "Seriously, Martini (that's his name, seriously) that last tree was good enough for the both of us. Let's go home, Project Runway is on." Then he's like, (if he could talk) "No, I want to space the urine out over several blocks, and besides I know you taped Project Runway." It's like all my guy friends who need be with many different girls because they've got something to prove. I only know a handful who have actually peed on said girls, but it is sort of the same thing. This is why I don't live with a man because I know he'll just want to go on "walks". And heck, maybe so do I.
Speaking of infidelity, we took Bonnie to this $5 psychic to find out who the father of her child is. You'll never guess what Rosa the Psychic said. She goes, "You don't need to know right now." I didn't have the heart to tell Bonnie that is the number one cop-out piece of crap a psychic would say, but for $5 what did she expect? Bonnie took it very seriously and this wave of relief just fell over her, I swear it was like she was on some spiritual plane. Sophie was certainly on something, but then again she always is. Jean was very quiet. Does she believe or was she just playing nice? I'll bet you $20 Jean went back to the psychic to ask about her and Nathan. Those two are totally going to get married.
Things are good with me and Andrew. Really good. Okay, he told me he is falling in love with me. I almost slept with him the other night, but I got nervous. Not about breaking the no-sex-contract my friends made me sign, but about taking our relationship to the next level. Like, commitment/sex/boyfriend. I want him to be that, I think. I'm glad he is being patient with me. I really did used to be a total whore, I am realizing that now. But all that sex was meaningless. Let's just say I've peed on enough trees to claim ownership of the greater tri-state area. And so I've found a tree with shade. And that scares the crap out of me.
You know you've got it bad when your blogs sound like a Judy Blume book.
Later, Bloggie
Speaking of infidelity, we took Bonnie to this $5 psychic to find out who the father of her child is. You'll never guess what Rosa the Psychic said. She goes, "You don't need to know right now." I didn't have the heart to tell Bonnie that is the number one cop-out piece of crap a psychic would say, but for $5 what did she expect? Bonnie took it very seriously and this wave of relief just fell over her, I swear it was like she was on some spiritual plane. Sophie was certainly on something, but then again she always is. Jean was very quiet. Does she believe or was she just playing nice? I'll bet you $20 Jean went back to the psychic to ask about her and Nathan. Those two are totally going to get married.
Things are good with me and Andrew. Really good. Okay, he told me he is falling in love with me. I almost slept with him the other night, but I got nervous. Not about breaking the no-sex-contract my friends made me sign, but about taking our relationship to the next level. Like, commitment/sex/boyfriend. I want him to be that, I think. I'm glad he is being patient with me. I really did used to be a total whore, I am realizing that now. But all that sex was meaningless. Let's just say I've peed on enough trees to claim ownership of the greater tri-state area. And so I've found a tree with shade. And that scares the crap out of me.
You know you've got it bad when your blogs sound like a Judy Blume book.
Later, Bloggie
posted by Tempy at 11:46 AM
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