17 Again
Oh no oh no oh no I think I have a crush. Wait, hear me out, I have been quite sexually promiscuous since my break up with Paul. Two and a half years of being with one person will do that to you, and fooling around with your gay best friend during that time does not count as cheating, thank you. So when my friends hear the word crush they probably think I'm talking about another guy I want to bang. It makes sense especially because they forced me to be celibate for a while. But this is different... I haven't had a crush in years. I'm talking about the kind of crush that gives you little butterflies in your stomach and you feel like everything you do is stupid.
Well, I have a schoolgirl crush and it scares the crap out of me. I noticed it two days ago when I went to my internet writing job and I caught my co-worker/new friend Andrew looking at me during a staff meeting. The boss was talking and I looked over and caught him staring at me. And we held the stare for a bit too long. And then he did it- he looked away quickly. Holy shit, did I feel nauseous. We avoided each other for the rest of the day.
Now, I take extra pains to look good in the morning, and I look forward to seeing him. But I also don't know how to act in front of him. I think he feels the same way; now when we joke we're all nervous about it- at least I know I am. He made some dumb joke, and then I laughed too hard, and then he was like, "It wasn't that funny" but he looked embarrassed. I can only describe it as that strange feeling you get when someone catches you masturbating or vice versa- you just pretend nothing happened but you both know. That's only happened to me twice but I tell ya, it seals a relationship.
The girls are doing great. Jean's been going crazy about this boy, Nathan. I think she's just glowing in the fact that she found this guy, he happens to be a millionaire and then she really hit it big, literally. He has a huge penis. I think she's just freaked out that there is currently nothing wrong with him. I hate her.
Sophie has an actual date with that actor from Saturday Night Live. I am trying not to act jealous but hot-damn is she ever lucky.
Bonnie and I had our first disagreement in a long time. I told her she was torn between being a rich person but wanting to look spiritually grounded like a poor one. I told her, you're still salt of the earth but embrace the fact that the salty taste comes from a fine caviar. I think I could be a life coach. She should stop paying that quack of hers and give me free food for my advice. I'm hungry.
Okay, off to bed. I can't believe it's because I want to look good for work tomorrow. I hate crushes.
Well, I have a schoolgirl crush and it scares the crap out of me. I noticed it two days ago when I went to my internet writing job and I caught my co-worker/new friend Andrew looking at me during a staff meeting. The boss was talking and I looked over and caught him staring at me. And we held the stare for a bit too long. And then he did it- he looked away quickly. Holy shit, did I feel nauseous. We avoided each other for the rest of the day.
Now, I take extra pains to look good in the morning, and I look forward to seeing him. But I also don't know how to act in front of him. I think he feels the same way; now when we joke we're all nervous about it- at least I know I am. He made some dumb joke, and then I laughed too hard, and then he was like, "It wasn't that funny" but he looked embarrassed. I can only describe it as that strange feeling you get when someone catches you masturbating or vice versa- you just pretend nothing happened but you both know. That's only happened to me twice but I tell ya, it seals a relationship.
The girls are doing great. Jean's been going crazy about this boy, Nathan. I think she's just glowing in the fact that she found this guy, he happens to be a millionaire and then she really hit it big, literally. He has a huge penis. I think she's just freaked out that there is currently nothing wrong with him. I hate her.
Sophie has an actual date with that actor from Saturday Night Live. I am trying not to act jealous but hot-damn is she ever lucky.
Bonnie and I had our first disagreement in a long time. I told her she was torn between being a rich person but wanting to look spiritually grounded like a poor one. I told her, you're still salt of the earth but embrace the fact that the salty taste comes from a fine caviar. I think I could be a life coach. She should stop paying that quack of hers and give me free food for my advice. I'm hungry.
Okay, off to bed. I can't believe it's because I want to look good for work tomorrow. I hate crushes.
posted by Tempy at 12:17 AM
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