Get a Big Cup

A few nights ago I was hanging out with the girls at a bar when I met a young up-and-coming theatre group from a small college in the Midwest. We started talking about art in New York and after a few drinks the conversation moved from theatre to sex, as most conversations are wont to do. I guess they all saw me as some sort of old New York guru, as one of the young-uns asked me, "We just graduated, so what's the dating scene like in New York"?

Dating scene? Is there even one? I'm just used to people sleeping with friends of friends or co-workers, and sometimes you take it to the next level of "dinner and a movie" to legitimize, but dating?

Here's a great example. I log onto my Friendster account this morning and get a message from some guy I don't know who viewed my profile. He said, "Sara, you look cute. Let me know if you're into ballbusting". Ballbusting. Oh, I totally googled that word. Guess what- aside from the generic definition of "giving someone a hard time" ballbusting is an actual S & M act that is gaining popularity here. It's allegedly huge in Denmark. Basically, it's when a girl stomps on a guys balls and he loves it. I usually call that marriage. But to answer the young man's question, when people are trolling Friendster to find people to stomp on their balls, yes, the New York dating scene is bleak. Suck it up and buy a jock strap.

Speaking of fetishes, Jean told us that Nathan is into threesomes. Not bad. But he wanted to have one with guess who- Bonnie! Our pregnant friend. I joked that it would actually be a foursome. Ew. Needless to say, I guess her perfect relationship is over. I don't blame her; I'm into kinky but that is just plain weird. Bonnie was all over it, though. She got real excited that men still find her attractive even though she has a small bump on her belly. I'd like to remind her that I'm happy when I'm bloated and a guy finds me attractive. Why does she have to look so good?

This week was crazy; I went to DC with the girls for an impeach Bush rally and reconnected with my kindergarten boyfriend Jimmy Lester who is now a secret service agent. He asked me to stay the week with him, but I ended up leaving with the girls. I had a really nice time. Sophie and I are actually getting along better now that we're not living together. That doesn't change the fact that I miss our apartment. Now that Jean is single again she's been spending more time at home making spreadsheets.

Which brings me back to dating. Andrew called and apologized for being a jerk. He wants to give it another chance. I miss him but I'm still mad at him. I know that because the sexual attraction I once had with him is gone, and in a not-erotic way all I want to do is stomp on his balls. But knowing New York, he'd probably love it.