Maholo
Okay Bloggie, I know it's been a while but I've been in Hawaii! I know, I know. Well, it's good news and weird news. The good being I got an all expense paid vacation to Hawaii. The bad being it's because our website got bought by some super corporate company and they flew us down there for "Team Training". What the f@#k is that? And did you know Aloha means hello AND goodbye? Well, according to the video on the plane, it can also mean a feeling. So I guess you can be greeting someone whilst wishing them adieu and emoting all at once.
Andrew thought it would be good for us to have a vacation, but the second we got down there, they split us up into "Adventure Groups" and took us to separate sides of the island of Oahu, with the goal of meeting up on the last night. They put us with people we don't know, and we were supposed to bond/beat drums in the woods/get drunk and hook up. I hate corporations. Our team leader was named "Janice" and she smiled as if the pineapple shoved up her ass might fall out if she flinched. Seriously, bloggie, we hiked and did trust falls, and at night everyone got drunk and the men wore Bermuda shorts and flirted with local women while the ladies bought shells and joked about getting "leid". I missed Andrew. He was stuck on the south shore with all the sewage.
At the end of the trip, we all met on the top of this place called "Diamond Head". Andrew and I split up and I gave him diamond head of my own. Oh, shut up, I'm allowed to be crass, I was stuck with balding production supervisors and project managers for the entire trip. We are the only creative area of the company. Oh, I have a new title, "Content Strategist". What the heck does that mean?
Oh, did I mention I broke the no-sex contract? I had to, Andrew and I are in a great relationship. I don't care that I owe $840. Well, I do, but Jean hasn't mentioned it because she has been distracted with Nathan. I hope she forgets.
Bonnie is having drama of her own. She temporarily moved out because Greg's mom, Rita Weisberg, is pressuring her to raise the baby Jewish. I don't care what she does as long as she gets out of Jean's place. She has "nowhere to go", I'm like, that's what they make hotels for. I hear New York has several of them. Also, her and Martini do not get along. Who hates dogs? Apparently babies are okay, but dogs are "dirty and annoying". Boy is she in for a shock.
Sophie could not be happier to have an excuse to stay with Andy Samberg. Well, she can move in with him if she wants. No, I hope she doesn't. I got her a freelance job with my company, (she's in the "graphics" department, ha), which means she takes photos. She better thank me for it.
Well, back to work. This new office is stifling. Hello bigger cubicle, goodbye freedom. And I have a feeling this is gonna suck. Aloha.
Andrew thought it would be good for us to have a vacation, but the second we got down there, they split us up into "Adventure Groups" and took us to separate sides of the island of Oahu, with the goal of meeting up on the last night. They put us with people we don't know, and we were supposed to bond/beat drums in the woods/get drunk and hook up. I hate corporations. Our team leader was named "Janice" and she smiled as if the pineapple shoved up her ass might fall out if she flinched. Seriously, bloggie, we hiked and did trust falls, and at night everyone got drunk and the men wore Bermuda shorts and flirted with local women while the ladies bought shells and joked about getting "leid". I missed Andrew. He was stuck on the south shore with all the sewage.
At the end of the trip, we all met on the top of this place called "Diamond Head". Andrew and I split up and I gave him diamond head of my own. Oh, shut up, I'm allowed to be crass, I was stuck with balding production supervisors and project managers for the entire trip. We are the only creative area of the company. Oh, I have a new title, "Content Strategist". What the heck does that mean?
Oh, did I mention I broke the no-sex contract? I had to, Andrew and I are in a great relationship. I don't care that I owe $840. Well, I do, but Jean hasn't mentioned it because she has been distracted with Nathan. I hope she forgets.
Bonnie is having drama of her own. She temporarily moved out because Greg's mom, Rita Weisberg, is pressuring her to raise the baby Jewish. I don't care what she does as long as she gets out of Jean's place. She has "nowhere to go", I'm like, that's what they make hotels for. I hear New York has several of them. Also, her and Martini do not get along. Who hates dogs? Apparently babies are okay, but dogs are "dirty and annoying". Boy is she in for a shock.
Sophie could not be happier to have an excuse to stay with Andy Samberg. Well, she can move in with him if she wants. No, I hope she doesn't. I got her a freelance job with my company, (she's in the "graphics" department, ha), which means she takes photos. She better thank me for it.
Well, back to work. This new office is stifling. Hello bigger cubicle, goodbye freedom. And I have a feeling this is gonna suck. Aloha.
posted by Tempy at 1:22 PM
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