Martini, I Hardly Knew Ye

I don't really know how to say this, but Martini, my dog, has passed. Someone gave him chocolate (and espresso) and he went into cardiac arrest.

I don't know why chocolate AND espresso, and I won't reveal which one of the girls it was, but let's just say it was very fine, expensive chocolate and rather high quality espresso. The only reason I am not naming names is because I forgive her and I think she was genuinely sorry for her mistake.

Even if I were to hold a grudge, it would do no good as Martini is gone. So I am trying to think of all the happy memories we've shared together.

The girls handled everything well. For once. Well, I thought I saw Jean laughing at his funeral but maybe that was just tears. No, she was laughing, but inside I know she is crying.

Sophie is finally getting help for her little problem, and I am continuing the apartment search as Jean has again flat out refused to find a place with me. Whatever, Sophie and I make better roommates anyway.

Okay, so it was Bonnie. But she looked so sad and later told me she missed him. And one day I'll give her daughter chocolate but it will be a happy event because children are not allergic to chocolate.

That's all. Oh, except that Jean is still waiting for her HIV results, Bonnie has yet to know the father of her unborn child and Sophie's under a lot of stress. I would normally end this blog with "At least I have the dog to keep me sane" but I don't. So instead I'll listen to country music and cry a bit. Or maybe I'll write a country song about Martini:

Been a long time ago
Too long to really know
When a dog named Martini
came 'round

He came to stay with me
Without a family
And in him a new friend
I found

My friends were jealous quick
Jean said he had fleas and ticks
So make fun of my friend
they did

Bonnie said he was dumb
Because he ate my gum
But I ain't the one stupid enough
to have a kid

To his needs I would cater
Tho he ate my vibrator
But I sure didn't mind that
a bit

Soon his days were numbered
When at Jean's house we all slumbered
And Bonnie gave him deadly
chocolate

(CHORUS)

Oh, Martini oh Martini
My little cuddle bear
Bonnie didn't mean to kill, I swear

So now I sit here all alone
Smilin' cuz I know why
You're sleepin' in a dog bed in the sky

That righteous little dog bed in the sky.....yyy (hold that note)

I love you, Martini